How Do I Provide Casual Feedback to Remote Employees?

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Welcome to It's Hard to Be a Leader podcast. I'm your host, Elaina Noell, certified NLP practitioner and CEO and author of Inspiring Accountability in the Workplace. Join me on this podcast for brain-based strategies, insights from guest leaders and coaches, and actionable solutions for your real-world leadership challenges. It has never been more challenging to be a leader, but it's hard to give better support to others if you're not receiving enough support yourself.

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I've helped thousands of leaders improve employee engagement, accountability, and results, and I'm here to support you in navigating today's challenges so you can enjoy being a leader while bringing out the best performance and fulfillment in your employees. In today's episode, I'll be joined by fellow leadership coach, Naveed Siddiqui. In addition to being a certified executive coach, Naveed is a future-of-work consultant helping growth-minded leaders and forward-thinking organizations.

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create people-centered cultures where employees show up with drive and purpose. An avid writer and thought leader, you can find thought-provoking content and digital resources on his website, naveedsiddiqi.com. We're gonna feature two different segments today. The first is, Let's Get Curious, where we take a real challenge and we each offer three questions that we would use to start thinking about that challenge differently. So you can get inside our minds as coaches and get some actionable prompts for how you could address a similar challenge.

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And our second segment is going to be our leadership mailbox, where we're going to hear a real challenge and talk through some possible action steps and strategies that you can do to make progress in this area. If you would like to submit your leadership challenges and get some support from the podcast, we'd love to hear from you. You can submit your questions and challenges at it'shardtobeleaderpodcast.com. Okay, let's dive into the episode. Welcome. Naveen, do you want to share a little bit about how we got here? How we met on social media? How original, right?

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Yeah, it's really a 2023 kind of story. When we got to talking, we were talking about just how much the world of workplaces and leadership has changed so much in the last few years with the rise in remote work, with the evolution of people's relationships with their jobs, with their employers, the great resignation, layoffs and everything that.

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seems like it's just in turmoil or just changing so rapidly in the world of work and in the world of leadership. We understand that it's not very easy to be a leader right now. I think that's an understatement. I think it's the hardest it has ever been to be a leader right now. Everything you just shared, the increase in expectations, the increase in how aware we are of how we feel at work now. I mean, all the mental health advancements in the workplace have been.

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really important, but they have left us with just so much pressure, I think, on leaders to do far more than manage performance. But now it's manage happiness, manage one's emotional state, manage one's comfort in the workplace. And it's a hugely, a huge amount of pressure. And that's why we're here, exploring how hard it is to be a leader and how we can hopefully make it just a little more doable, a little more manageable in today's work environment.

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So should we get started with our first segment? All right, let's get curious. This week, this is the prompt that we are exploring. I lead a team that's fully remote. I'm worried that my direct reports are not being totally honest about how much they're working. Because I can't physically see them at their desks, it's hard for me to tell if they're actually working. What can I do? This is that age-old dilemma, right? This is.

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what so many leaders and so many think pieces have been asking over the last three years. If I can't see you working, are you actually working? Elena, what are you curious about here? Yeah, ever since the pandemic began, my question, especially from the inspiring accountability lens is if someone had asked me, well, how do I know that they're working now that we're remote, then I would be asking.

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Well, how did you know that they were working or performing before? Because simply seeing someone at a computer is not an indication of the level of performance, but it certainly seemed reliable. I mean, it, it feels good to see someone working if you're in charge of managing them, it, it does feel like an easier, uh, kind of bait to take. And so that you can go focus on other things, but with that missing, a lot of leaders struggled with.

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trust. And it really put a lot of pressure to improve performance management in ways that didn't require just seeing someone working. What was your first question that you would pose to this? I promise we did not plan this beforehand. But my first question was the same as your first question is, yeah, how did you know that they were working when everyone was in person? That was my first question as well.

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Since if we're on the same page, I don't think we're as creative as we think we are. I'm sure many of our listeners were right there with us. So let's go. What is your second question then? My next question is how do you measure productivity? And is it by the number of emails sent or number of hours someone spends online? In other words, by the inputs that they make throughout a workday, or is it by the quality of their out?

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or meeting the deadlines that you all agree on together? Is it based on impact? And I think leaders, and this leader in particular, and this prompt in particular, can stand to really reflect on what does it mean to be productive? How do you measure productivity in your team, in your department, in your function, in your particular situation? What was your second question?

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So my second question, I kind of took it in the direction of if they're thinking their employee is not on their computer as much as it looks like, so maybe using one of those devices that keeps the Slack bubble active. So my next question was, if they are not on or active as much as they're presenting, what is the specific problem with that? So I am a big fan of it's not a problem unless it's a problem.

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So what's the biggest maybe trigger even? What's the specific problem or problems that there might be what's really behind the issue of, well, I think they're not being truthful about how much, they're misrepresenting how active, how much they're working. Starting to just unpack for you as a leader so that we can make the feedback or wherever the leader is gonna go with this.

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more on specific problems, specific behaviors, and not this kind of general thing because it, you know, if it's not a problem, it's not a problem. So let's get clear about what those specific actual issues are, sets us up for providing more feedback that people can be more receptive about because they can actually take action on versus something too general or elusive. So what was your third and last question? I loved your second question and it ties very well into my third question.

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in the sphere of clarity. My third question is, do they know what's expected of them or what success looks like for a given assignment? In other words, have you been clear with your expectations? Because that is a core function or a core responsibility of being a leader, is setting that stage and really clarifying what success looks like and what your expectations are. It's not

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to micromanage them. It's not to explain to them the specific steps of how to get something done, but it's to really unpack that vision of what you are expecting and what that end goal looks like. So that's what I would want to get curious about if I were this leader is reflecting on, have I been clear with my direct reports about what my expectations are? Yes, clear expectations are where clarity and accountability begin. I'm so glad you included that.

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It's brought up a bonus question for me and kind of on this topic of micromanagement. And that is when I hear the term micromanage, which I've identified as one of the eight traditional accountability styles. You can see more about that on inspiring accountability.com. My question when I hear about micromanaging is what is the difference between micromanagement and supportive management? Because hands off management is also not necessarily effective. So it's a great prompt to start to explore. And you can even do this with your employee.

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what would it look like to move from micromanagement to supportive management? So we don't have to go into the details here, but I want to leave that for you, the listeners. And I think I'll make that into another episode where I talk about the accountability styles. But for now, bonus question. But my official third question on this is what is the most useful way to establish more trust in this working relationship? And I use this word useful because useful includes...

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what is going to keep the employee receptive? What is going to keep the employee engaged in your conversation? So not what's the fastest, what's the easiest, what's the quickest, what's the whatever, but what is the most useful way to establish more trust? Because we don't want to move into kind of a condescending or demeaning approach. We want to be very mindful that we're having a conversation, not confrontation. But yeah, what's that useful way to establish more trust? Because to me, at the root of this...

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is now this growing lack of trust. And I think once there's a lack of trust, that can just expand and expand and expand if it's not managed. So what is the most useful way to establish more trust in this working relationship? I love that. And in the spirit of bonus questions, I have one of my own. I guess if I got one, you get one. That seems fair. I love fair. The floor is yours. Yeah, you inspired me. Well, and I love what you said about

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conversation, not confrontation, right? I think this situation that I imagine so many leaders are going through, it goes back to trust, which you alluded to. And one way to build trust or rebuild trust is to collaborate with your direct reports, to not make it this top-down kind of directive of this is what I need you to do, this is.

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how you need to be doing it, but just ask, what do you need from me in order to work at your best? And that's my bonus question. It's something that the leader can reflect on first, but then actually use it as a conversation starter with their direct reports. How can I serve you? What do you need to see for me? What questions do you have of me to help you work at your best?

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So what would you do? Because I feel like I've seen this and I feel like I could be in this position easily as well as what would you do if the employee says, no, I'm good. Like I have what I need. I'm doing a good job, but that suspicion is still there. Right? Like if I'm the employee, if you were to ask me, Hey, what do you need for me to be productive? I'd be like, no, I'm good because I've probably designed my life the way that does work for me. If that means I take longer breaks, if that means I go.

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know, run my errands or take care of that staff as part of my day. So let's just say you asked that question as a leader and your employee is like, no, I mean, I'm good. You know, no, no problem here. Where would you go next with that? Yeah, it's, it's a good question. And I think I would go back to how I'm measuring productivity or how I'm measuring impact. Is this person delivering the results that I expected them and they, their teammates expect?

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Are they producing the results and the impact and the outcomes? And what kind of feedback can I get from their teammates and the people that they work with? Is this person showing up for them? Is this person making themselves available for them, their questions, and their collaboration? Yes, that's a great point to expand the evaluation of impact to not just you as a leader, but to their team. Are they accessible and responsive enough for their team to make progress as well? I love that.

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And I think that ties back to exploring what is the actual problem. If the issue really is productivity, you can ask them what they need to do to better meet the deliverables without suggesting that the solution is to always be online. And that's just one quick way to inspire accountability is to present a desired result or expectation, which would be the productivity metric, whatever it is in this case, and let them create the action steps needed to be successful.

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and maybe working more of their scheduled hours as part of it, but this way you can get better results without having to press them to confess that they haven't been online as much. Okay. It's time for a leader mailbox. You can write in with your own challenges and questions to itshardtobeleaderpodcast.com. Let's listen to today's question. So I manage a team that primarily works remotely because there aren't a lot of organic ways to provide casual feedback like there used to be in person.

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I feel like I have to be too serious or formal with my feedback. Sometimes it's asking someone to stay on after a meeting, which just feels like I'm calling someone into the principal's office. How can I provide constructive feedback more naturally or casually in a remote environment? I love that metaphor of getting called into the principal's office. We all know what that feeling is like, and it can be very daunting. So yeah, I get it. Do you want to start?

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I think this question highlights the challenge of some feedback best practices, which are to provide constructive or negative feedback relatively timely and privately. I don't think timely has to mean right away, but within a week seems reasonable, you know, depending on the severity of what the feedback is. But for like everyday feedback, I think within a week is fine. But both of these best practices can get strained if you're limited to just that remote communication. So here's where I would start.

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No one likes a laundry list of ways they need to improve. So I get that this leader may feel that they're providing kind and frequent feedback that now feels too formal, whereas the same amount of feedback may have felt more casual in person. So it sounds like they have good intention and that they want the employee to feel valued, which is great.

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If feedback is feeling a little bit too nitpicky, I would save it and I would take advantage of a specific time dedicated to this and regular one-on-ones. I would definitely let go of certain elements that are not crucial. So again, this is not just a laundry list of feedback, but I would make it a regular part of that one-on-one saying something like this last week, I just observed a couple things I wanted to provide some feedback for you on. And I also think you could go a step further and honestly make your life a little bit easier.

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and ask your employee how they want feedback. You could say something like, there are times I wanna provide feedback, but I just feel in this remote environment, it can feel nitpicky, which is not how I want it to feel for you. So how do you want me to address when things come up? And you know, some people might say, oh, just be really direct. I don't care if I'm like staying after a call. Or some people might say, yeah, I like the idea of providing it in that one-on-one. And that's a good space where, you know, I can provide some of my experience too.

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So that's where my mind went. Those were my first thoughts. Naveed, what about you? My first piece of feedback is make sure you're having regular one-on-ones, right? I think we're both big proponents of that. I think feedback, especially in a remote environment, requires trust and it requires momentum, in a way. There's this analogy I use of...

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A train that is stationary, that's stopped, that needs to like get started. It takes a lot of energy to build momentum. But once it starts to get going, it gets easier and easier, requires less and less energy. And I think that is a metaphor that we can keep in mind of how we approach feedback. The more you check in informally throughout the week, the more you make yourself available to your team, the easier and more natural the feedback will get.

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I loved your thought about making a collaborative and asking each of your direct reports, how do you wanna receive feedback? What's the best environment for you to do that? What's the best way and the best cadence for you to do that? Cause that takes the burden of knowing off of you and the burden of creating a one size fits all kind of solution off of you and it makes it more collaborative.

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Oh, yes, I couldn't agree more. I feel like it's so easy for leaders to feel that part of their role is to figure everything out. But there are so many opportunities to collaborate with your employee and just ask them what they're looking for and what could work for them instead of trying to just figure it all out. So yeah, I love that you kind of keep returning to that concept of collaboration and coming back for finding that space for more casual feedback. I do think it's important to keep in mind

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that you can build in feedback to anything. So you can also build in feedback to a group meeting. I know there are some platforms where you rate meetings at the end on how effective they were. So you can definitely create more space. I think you can create almost like a more formal space for feedback that allows for more frequent and informal feedback. But I think setting it up to where it's a natural and expected...

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time for feedback helps calm that creature brain. It helps people feel receptive, helps people be able to come in with their own feedback. So I think if you feel like you don't have a, you know, for this leader, if you don't have enough space for feedback, you don't have the right context for feedback, then look to see where you can create some of that context. So a formal context might allow for more informal feedback.

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different kind of emotional space, right? At a one-on-one, I would expect that to be a feedback-rich environment. And I can prepare mentally, emotionally to both receive and give feedback. And you mentioned some tools that are out there to provide some quick feedback on a regular basis. There are more pieces of technology now than ever, and that's what remote work can.

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definitely helped to foster is new and creative ways to get feedback. And I think just reflecting on, you know, it is hard to be a leader. And so we are talking a bit about ideals. I mean, I hope that they're approachable and realistic ideals for the most part, but you know, you don't have to do it all at once. Just pick one area, one way that you can create a little bit more of a conducive environment for feedback.

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And remember that the purpose of feedback is to be supportive. It's to leave an employee inspired to take new action that gets new results. So whatever helps you step into that context where you can be supportive, they really need your feedback in order to be able to grow and meet your expectations. So we want to set them up for success and help them win. Feedback is tricky. Obviously we're going to need to be talking about feedback a bit more. It sounds like we should talk about trust.

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building trust a bit more as well. Lots of good ideas for future episodes here. All right. It's time to close up with our challenge of the week. So we're each going to pick a specific challenge that we want to offer to you that you can focus on for the next week. Uh, Naveed, you want to start us off? The challenge that I have for our listeners and our leaders is to reflect on the question, what does productivity mean to you and to your team?

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because productivity looks different for different teams, for different people, marketing or finance or HR or IT, it's not really the same measurement. And so my challenge of the week for our leaders is to think about what productivity looks like for your team and how it can best be measured. Yeah, and if you're not.

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in a workplace that naturally has strong key performance indicators, KPIs, if that's not the current work culture, it can be a huge undertaking to come up with these productivity KPIs essentially. So it is definitely a fundamental, a best practice for accountability. But if you haven't done it yet, there's probably a reason because it can be a bit of an undertaking. But as Naveed's challenging

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establishing more of those productivity KPIs if that's not already a part of your work culture. It's a great challenge, Naveed, and it can make such a huge difference if like you had said earlier in the episode, you can just get that train moving. So my challenge of the week is going to be to play with the concept of focusing on what is useful. So if you find yourself in a leadership challenge, notice where your brain normally wants to go where the attention...

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is drawn, what your thoughts are and see if you can play with more quickly going to, okay, what's the most useful thing I can do in this moment? Essentially, you know, outcome-oriented, right? Okay. If I'm looking for this, what is the most useful thing that I can do in this moment? And play with that a little bit. See what that brings into focus for you. You can share your feedback on our challenges, how they go on. It's hard to be a leader at podcast.com. Thanks so much for joining us.

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Be sure to stay tuned for our next episode and send in your ideas and questions. We'd love to interact with you and make this really valuable for you. So any closing thoughts, Naveed? This was so much fun. I'm so excited for what's to come. Naveed, thanks so much for being on the show and sharing your thoughts. You can connect with Naveed at NaveedSadiky.com or check out the links in the show notes.

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You can find out more about me, Elena Noel, check out the book and other workshops and services at inspiringaccountability.com. Disagree or wanna add a perspective, jump on to It's Hard to Be a Leader podcast and share your thoughts on the episode. If you enjoyed and got value from the episode, please take a moment to rate this podcast. And of course, share, like and follow so you're up to date on the next episode and we can help this podcast grow and reach more leaders. Together, let's work with what makes us human and make work and the world a better place. We'll see you next time.